thoughts/oldest brother
I haven’t posted here in a while because I’ve been trying to think of what I want to do on the internet. The options, to me, are either to blog or to vlog. I can either blog about my life, things that I like, or both. So I decided that I’d do both on here, instead of tumblr. To be quite honest I went on tumblr to talk to other people, but that didn’t work out so screw that. I think I’m going start vlogging on youtube with some friends of mine, but I’m not sure about that because I’m kind of shy.
My mind has been completely conjested lately and I don’t know why. The only things in there are boys, friends, my ex, and the internet. I’m not going to lie, school and driving aren’t things I really care about. I didn’t look at any colleges over this summer, but then again I don’t care because I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. My SAT scores aren’t all that but I’m on Honor Roll for my average. The SAT shouldn’t even be such a big part of getting into college because standardized tests are such shit. Intelligence can be measured far beyond two subjects, Math and English. Maybe I’ll revise the education system in New York because I feel so strongly about it. It’d be nice if I could revise all of the states but that’s just an unrealistic goal. Maybe I’ll just move out of the States like I’ve always wanted and travel the world with my fake Monopoly money. I really can’t do that though because me and my brothers are extremely political. After having such a horrible experience in Catholic High School, I’d like to make sure nobody else ever has to go through that.
Speaking of brothers, my oldest brother just turned 25 yesterday. I’m so proud of how far he has come in life. He was having sex at 13 and doing drugs as well. Apparently he was abused by my father, but I wouldn’t know because I was just an infant when all of this was happening. I remember how he would come home drunk and angry yelling at my mother, me and my brother not too long ago. I can’t really name specifics on the occurences anymore, nor do I wish to remember them. After he quit drinking things were better, but he still had his drama and anger issues. My mom kicked him out of the house after one last night of his drunk abuse. The damage had already been done to me, my brother, and my mom. I don’t know why my mom didn’t kick him out earlier, but I think it’s because she is WAY too maternal. My father, mother and step mother all chipped in to rent him out an apartment with his girlfriend. After switching colleges and majors many times, he realized he wanted to be a political science major and a history teacher. While going to school he worked two jobs, but now he only works one. He has a lot of school loans to pay off and rent too but he manages. I hope he gets his job as a student teacher where he only has to sit in on classes but he still gets vacation, paid a good amount, and benefits. Today, he is a bundle full of information and a total activist. Recently he went to the protest in NYC with Iranians at the UN where Noam Chomsky adressed the hunger strikes. My brother is so interested in the subject that he has even taken up learning some Farsi. I see him going places in life and I hope to be like him one day.
